Heart Murmers
I guess love is in the air. Just mainly because the mainstream media, along with Hallmark et al are pushing it down our throats. I've never been big on Valentine's Day, even when I was half of two. For one who is consciously alone, the hooplah is pretty tedious. My thoughts alternate between ennui and bitterness. Neither emotion really that interesting.
I'll be with the girls, who I love, so that will be fun I guess. But it is difficult not to yearn a little for those arms, and that peace that comes from sharing the world with somebody.
Life is a little weird without Maury. When I come home at night, I still sort of expect him to be there. And then, under the covers, I still sort of expect him to hop up or come get a drink. And in the morning, I still sort of expect to hear him stretch and then wander up to say hello. I miss him.
Sunday. 3am. An old friend marks another year. I feel a lot of sadness about this and am not sure how to handle it.
Day 5 without nicotine.
I've got to start moving forward again. I'm getting stuck.
